Make me a sandwich
My boss and I were chatting in the car back from a brief business trip in between various NPR and Serious Satellite broadcasts. He feels the need to lecture me on various things and even used the phrase; "how's the love life? Come on, let's get it over with." Yah, he's been privy to certain details of my past relationships for. . . let's them specifiy circumstantial reasons. I don't normally talk about my relationships with others, but when they make themselves known, it's tough to continually deflect the onslaughts of curiosities lobbied at me by the entire staff. But I digress.
One segment on the radio was rather interesting. It discussed the pamphlets that were given to foreigners when visiting the US; essentially discussing the various cultural subtleties you would find while visiting. As a person who has actually visited and lived other cultures, I am fully aware of this strange idea to Americans. When you're raised under any particular culture, you can easily forget that the norms you are raised with are entirely foreign to others. One in particular was how punctual you need to be in America (one which I highly support for many reasons), which is often lax in other cultures.
It got me thinking about how the various ways in which relationships are often strained by the lack of information on how one needs to act in a certain way to be perceived as normal by a potential partner. I did actually date a rather lovely gal that was constantly late to everything, often without ing or having reason for it; it drove me bonkers and affected my perceptions of her quite negatively. Suffice to say we did not last very long. These seemingly inconsequential things can have a greater impact on our interactions then we give prudence to. I have often come at odds with others based on many contrary interpretations to every day existence.
The phrase within the title is one of the best examples of this interesting idea that I could use to illustrate it. I would wager money that the vast majority of you initially thought some very negative things when you first clicked in here. Up to this point, have no doubt become confused since you were expecting some cave dwelling Neanderthal who thinks women should remain in the kitchen and service our hungers when we so desire it. But to me, it means something entirely different.
Many years ago during one relationship I remember working at my desk diligently on a project. My significant other returned home and we exchange brief pleasantries; as I was obviously focusing and had a bit of tunnel vision at the time. A few minutes later she returned to the room and set down a sandwich and a glass of milk in front of me, kissed me on the cheek and returned to her business. I was astonished by the gesture. I did not ask for anything, but she knew I was hungry and took it upon herself to aid me, and deliver a tasty sandwich, just the way that I like it. I immediately stopped what I was doing, took her into the bedroom, and made her feel appreciated for her kindness.
I don't interpret the phrase as a domineering misogynist command; but more as a suggestive statement of what one can do in my cultural relationship as a good idea. Much in the same way that showing up on time is not only a good idea from a professionalism standpoint, but shows me respect and trustworthiness. All indications that you care. The paramount idea, is that you take steps to show me that you care about me, not simply seek what I can do for you. I've seen too often on here that women address men as if they were utility belts instead of people.
Who you are as a person is more important to me than the utility you can bring into my life. I don't care what you do to support yourself, but I do care that you support yourself. I don't care if you have a car, but I do care that you can get from point A to point B on your own. These ideas seem utterly foreign to the average female. It seems you want a child more than you want a man to have children adult seeking sex Oriska NorthDakota 58063 with (there are far too many fatherless children out there as a consequence for this decision). It seems you place more value on a man with a vehicle than one without. The longer the lists persists, the more obvious it becomes about what he possesses is more important than who is he as a person. The cherry on top being that you just want a man with all of these admirable qualities to love you for who you are.
Don't think I am frustrated because I lack admirable traits; I am merely confused why anyone would need them in the first place to be considered for candidacy. How does one know they're "soul mate" just happens to be over six feet tall? Or that they can only fall in love with a dark haired man? Would they suddenly feel lied to or cheated when it turns out he dyed it and it simply never came up in conversation? Have we truly become a society that wishes to design those we interact with? How unimaginative.
But I do not let the questionable women detract from my pursuits of the truly genuine ones. So here I am again, providing a brief insight to the thoughts in the head my gender is often accused of rarely using to any noble degree. Those that have cared to ask for them have always gotten much farther than those who presume to know what they are. I seek those that meet curiosities with explanation and reason, not hostility and condemnation.
So what's your favorite sandwich?
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